"We do not travel to discover other places... We travel to discover ourselves"

I want to discover the world down to the last detail. Thoughts of this keep me awake at night. Visions of far away places and waning sunsets invade my waking dreams. I hold on to these visions of the amazing places I have visited thus far, and I realize that no photo I have ever taken will do my memories the justice they deserve. I can feel the sand under my toes at the Gulf of Carpentaria, and feel the jump in my heart at the sight of a huge manta ray soaring across the surface of the water. I can still feel the weight of my scuba gear at the great barrier reef, and I can remember the smell of the David. I remember the feel of the velvet rope that I touched when I gazed at the real life Mona Lisa, and I the way my heart felt like it might burst when I saw my first real Leonardo Davinci artwork - the unfinished Adoration of the Magi. These places and senses are all ingrained in my heart. The people who I meet along the way leave their footprints forever etched in my soul. As I sit here - stationary until my studies are finished I can't help but ache for more of this. I received a taste of exploration and I have been literally starving for more ever since.

We as people are raised with certain expectations for our lives. From a little girl I was told of the children I would one day have, and the house and wedding I would get all of my own. My mother fed me fairy-tales of this wedding to my real life ken doll and how it would be the Happiest day of my life. I was told that I was to attend college right out of high school so that I could enter the world of adulthood and make money to buy all of these wonderful things like cars and boats, and family vacations to Disneyland. I was never taught to expect that life would be anything other than this. How then, did I become this person.

I used to think my adventures were mere pages in my book of life. These pages would just be the prelude to my fairytale marriage, and one day be just something wonderful to tell my children about. "You will grow out of this, it's just a phase" echoes from the tongues of those who don't know me well. As time moves on and I grow older, I've had a massive revelation: What if this adventure became my story? What if I decided to shun the idea of marriage and children and spend my life exploring all the beauty this vast world has to offer? the more time I spent thinking about it the more it made sense. I don't HAVE to get married. I don't HAVE to have children. I don't HAVE to live in suburbia and spend my money on ballet lessons and soccer uniforms. I mean, by no means do I look down upon those individuals who want this life. I celebrate their happiness, and I wish them well in their quest, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that deep down I have never wanted these things to begin with.

I fall in love easily with places and ideas, but my ability to fall in love with another individual is rather lacking. I don't feel as though this is necessarily a bad thing, however. My life is filled with love every day. I have friends and family who love me and who I love the same. I really don't feel as though I am lacking anything. Some call me selfish for entertaining these ideas, but in all actuality I think that true selfishness would be making a decision to start a family of my own and expect them to constantly uproot their lives to satisfy my impulsive nature. Children need stability, and I don't believe I am capable or desirous of having a stable life.


I have come to enjoy my instability and to embrace my impulsiveness. I feel most alive when I am in a new place. Perhaps some day my views will change. Maybe someday I will trade in my compass for the keys to a house on Spruce Street. But for the time being, I look forward to embarking on this extraordinary journey, with stars in my eyes, and adventure in my heart, I know I can turn this dream life into my reality.